First Date Tips

After days or even weeks of calls and emails back and forth, it's finally going to happen. To make your first date a bit easier, we've provided a list of dating tips to start things out right:

Take it easy. If this this your first date with someone you've met online, start out short and sweet with lunch, a quick dinner or drinks. Pressed for time? Try a bagel and coffee in the morning before work. You'll be in and out in 30 minutes or less. And even if you're the dress-up type, keep the first date fashion turned down to casual for best comfort.

Be on time. Don't worry about appearing too eager if you're the first one there. And fashionably late only applies to parties. Concentrate on being polite, considerate and respectful during this first date.

Meet your date somewhere public and drive yourself. If you feel the need to bail early, you won't be stuck If things work out, you won't have any worries about inviting your date in or not. And there's no need to worry about safety, your date does not know where you live.

Be nice. Even if you know before the handshake that this date is not "the one," be friendly and cordial. There is no need for unpleasantries that make your date uncomfortable Definitely don't argue or debate today's top issues, and resist the urge to glance at your watch. Keep your attention focused on the conversation (and date) at hand-yes, even if you spot a cutie at the bar.

Keep the date simple. You're nervous enough without making a big show, plus you don't want to lock yourself in to an evening you won't enjoy.

Get some action. No, not that kind of action. If you're typically uncomfortable with new people, schedule a high action activity to start the date. Not only will attention be focused on the task at hand, you'll have something to converse about later. Think hiking, indoor rock climbing, dance lessons; you'll be much too busy for awkward moments!

Men, take charge and end the date when you think it's appropriate. In other words, end it first. You'll make yourself stand out.

Women, watch what you wear. Your first date knows very little about the woman you are. And you don't want to give the wrong impression.

A normally conservative woman who went out on a blind date wearing a sexy low cut cocktail dress. They went to dinner, had a wonderful evening, and when her date walked her to her door, he pounced on her. She was of course surprised and upset, but her date didn't know her, he just took her at face value.

Wear comfortable clothing that you feel good in. First dates are uncomfortable enough without wearing anything tight-fitting biting you around the waist.

Men, be specific about where you are going. This will make the date more comfortable, and will prevent her from dressing for the Ritz when you are taking her bowling.

Ask about your date. Be prepared. Make a mental list of things to talk about-conversation crib notes, if you like. Just keep them ready any time you feel the conversation coming to a stall. Things like work, hobbies, travel, kids, pets or even the weather. If you are really stuck for topics to talk about, and questions to ask, many online dating services provide advice on this and other topics.

Easy on the perfume. You want to make an impression, but you don't want to knock him out!

Don't forget to use mouthwash before you go out.

Don't order sloppy food. Some of us can't help ourselves when faced with spaghetti sauce, melted butter or blueberry pie. A food stain on yourself may be "charming," but splattering your date with food is a definite dating don't.

Keep the conversation pleasant. This is a first date, not a therapy session. Don't talk about old boyfriends, girlfriends, or ex-spouses.

Don't be rude if you decide your date is a dud. Unless you want to rack up some bad dating karma, be honest but gentle. "I don't think we're as compatible offline as I thought," should suffice. Don't say you'll call if you know you won't.

Be attentive! There is nothing worse then a date peering over your shoulder making you feel as if they are looking for something better.

I'm not talking about an interrogation, but everyone is flattered when asked about their interests. Ask leading questions and listen attentively; there may be a test later.

Let your personality shine through with your responses, and remember that optimism is more attractive than pessimism. Stay positive.