Though most of us would like to believe relationships are forever, unfortunately that's not always the case. There may be a specific reason for a breakup or it may be that the relationship has run its course. When its time has come, it's best to bring your relationship to an end cleanly and as smoothly as possible. Here are some suggestions:

            Begin getting back any items you may have left at your partner's place. It's much easier to do before the breakup. If your partner has things around your home, box them and have them ready to move. Make sure you have everything. You don't want to have things left around for him or her to come back for later.

            Do not attempt to involve friends, family, co-workers, etc., in the breakup. This is only between you and your mate. There's no need for anyone to feel they have to take sides. That doesn't mean you can't discuss your feelings about the breakup with a close friend or family member, but putting others in an uncomfortable situation doesn't serve anyone.

            If you believe there may be a scene, break up at a public place such as a restaurant. But, don't lure your soon-to-be-ex lover there under false pretenses. Explain that you want to discuss your relationship.

            There is no really "good time" to break up with someone. Do it as soon as you make the decision. Waiting only makes it even more difficult and painful and just prolongs the inevitable. It's not easy, it takes a bit of courage but it's something that must be done.

            Do not, however, breakup on a day with special significance. For instance, don't breakup on Christmas Day, Easter, or your ex-partner's birthday. It's cruel and could very well spoil that day for this person for many years to come.

            Don't beat around the bush, get to the point. Be clear and specific. Don't cast blame, argue or make the other person wrong. And don't prolong the event. As they say, "just do it".

            Don't breakup in stages over time. Some people, through either fear of losing someone or by trying to spare their ex-partner's feelings, breakup in parts. They might start by getting distant, then suggest both of them see other people and so on. This just extends the pain longer than necessary.

            Be considerate where you ex-partner's feelings are concerned but don't back down. And don't promise to keep in touch, be friends or give the impression there's a chance of getting back together. This only leads to false hopes and further pain. If it happens, it happens.

            Don't dump your hurt or anger on this person. Be as detached and unemotional as you can. Remember, it took two to create the relationship and two to end it.

            And finally, for your own peace of mind and personal growth, see if you can find the gifts in your relationship. It couldn't have been all bad or it wouldn't have lasted as long as it did. Maybe your life is better for having known the other person or maybe the experience of breaking up has led you to look for some wisdom within yourself.

            Breaking up is as difficult for the person doing it as well as for the person getting dumped. Remember that you saw something special in that person in the first place. Regardless of what caused the break up, they're still the same person you met. Be compassionate, be truthful but be bold.