When we think of a relationship, what most often comes to mind is romance. In fact, it's one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Relationships without romance may be comfortable, may feel safe but are hardly satisfying. Regardless of what anyone says, both men and women fantasize about romance. Both would love to be swept off their feet by their partner and, if not, they're sure to feel something is missing. How do we create romance in our relationships? How does one become romantic? First of all, why don't we try to define just what romance actually is.

            Webster's dictionary defines romance as:

                        1. A species of fictitious writing.

                        2. An adventure, or series of extraordinary events, resembling those narrated in romances.

                        3. A dreamy, imaginative habit of mind; a disposition to ignore what is real.

                        4. The languages, or rather the several dialects, which were originally forms of popular or vulgar Latin.

            Any of these come close to what you think romance is? We're not talking about romance novels, languages or spacing out, are we? When we think of romance, we think of walks on the beach, buying flowers for your partner, cozying up in front of a fireplace, showing your partner how much you care. So might we say that, for lack of a better definition, romance is the act of making your partner feel cared for, feel loved. Not bad.

            Using this definition, it doesn't matter what you do as long as it makes him or her feel cared for and loved by you. You don't need an expensive restaurant or a week in Hawaii to be romantic although no one would complain about these things. It doesn't take a lot of time or planning. In fact, it can consist of something as simple as a heartfelt kiss or a hug. And what you do doesn't even have to be perfect. The important thing is the feeling and thought you put behind it and conveying those feelings and thoughts to your partner. Whatever you do, (and there are some good ideas on this site to help you) make sure it comes from the heart. Leave your partner with no doubts at all that they are the most loved person in the world. That's all it takes.

            In order to spark your imagination, you can use the suggestions below to get you going. They're easy, they don't cost much, anyone can do them and you can do them anytime you desire:

• Leave messages of love and lust around for your partner to find.



• Stay at an inexpensive motel. While your partner's in the bathroom getting into something more comfortable, do your own turndown service: turn back the covers, put chocolates on the pillows and light some candles.



• Have a candlelit bath awaiting when your partner gets home from a busy day.



• Slow dance to your favorite song.



• Sneak up and give your partner an unexpected hug and kiss.



• Whisk your partner away for an impromptu picnic or to watch the sunset.



• Make eye contact across a crowed room and mouth the words, "I love you."



• Surprise your partner by doing something unexpected like cleaning the house.



• Share a glass of wine or a cup of coffee while watching the night sky.



• Cuddle up in front of the fire and talk about your lives together.



• Make a surprise candlelight dinner for your partner.