Romantic Gestures

A romantic gesture is a way to let your partner know that you care. It's not the glitter or the price, but the feeling behind the gesture that's the true gift. It's about making the extra effort, even when you don't have the time or the energy, especially when children are added to your love life.

Pay attention to the little things. Everyday demonstrations of love and affection communicate to your partner how much you appreciate him or her, as a partner and as a parent, and demonstrates the importance of your relationship. Protect your investment in your relationship and you and your partner will reap the rewards of a romantic life together.

Become a part of each other's lives

Many couples who are together for several years begin to feel like strangers living together under the same roof. They may get along like roommates, or co-parents, without any problems, but something is missing. That something may be the closeness they had shared back at the beginning of their relationship.

This is a very common problem in long-term relationships but is easily fixed: Make your partner a part of your life.

When a relationship passes the honeymoon stage and into the comfortable stage, we often stop sharing things with their partners. This is a normal process of growing closer. We get busy in our normal routine and don't take the time to share like we did early in our relationship. Devote a certain time every day to share the highs, lows, passions, frustrations, memories, hopes, and everything else you go through every day. Keeping the lines of communication open will keep the romance burning bright and that's the key to feeling close to your partner.

Talking

It takes a lifetime to get to know someone so you need to keep the lines of intimate conversation going. These conversations will prevent the two of you from feeling like strangers.

Encourage these conversations by reserving time together each night just for talking. You don't have to verbally arrange a time to talk-it's better to keep it casual by creating a habit of talking each night. It isn't a time for serious discussions, either, or conversation about the children; it's a time for relaxed, fun conversation to get to know each other better. The following might provide some ideas for things to talk about:

· Your favorite pet when you were a child.
· Your oldest friends
· Family holiday traditions that you like/dislike
· Some of the high points of your life
· Mischievous things you did as a child
· Your first day of school.
· Favorite places

A Balanced Life

Most couples today have dual careers and often experience an increase in relationship stress and a decrease in the amount of time they have for each other. If the relationship is well-organized and nothing unexpected comes up, work and relationships run smoothly. Life, of course, normally doesn't work that way.

As couples we must keep our lives balanced or our relationships will suffer. You won't fall out of love just because you're a workaholic. But if you constantly put your other responsibilities ahead of your relationship, you and your partner will pay in terms of emotional neglect for each other's needs. Take some time alone. Take a sick day to put your relationship back in good health. Do what's necessary to balance the needs of your life with the needs of your relationship.

Making Dreams Come True

Life's obligations often keep you from maintaining the closeness you originally sought in your relationship. Turn this around by focusing on sharing your life with your partner.

Real romance isn't about flowers and candy, it's about daily expressions of love. It's about your commitment to your partner and the actions behind your commitment. Expressing love is not about the big things you do for him or her, but the small things. These little gestures make your partner feel appreciated, cared for, and special. For those times when you don't feel up to giving, just remember that it's hard to have a lively, growing relationship with someone when you are more deeply committed to something else.

You may not be comfortable expressing your love but you still need to do it. Be realistic; start out slow. But just start. Sometimes it's a struggle to tell our partners we love them. Sometimes it's not in the words but in the deeds. Be sure to pay attention to all the things your partner does to say "I love you". Just think of how good it will make your partner feel to know you see how he or she expresses his or her love for you. Every effort is worth the rewards.

Make your relationship a top priority in your life by keeping your full attention on it. Relationships don't stay strong just because you live together. Your relationship is strong because you care enough to make it work.